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So the other day, I was solving a long-distance mystery Nancy Drew style, like I often do. See, my friend has been getting late-night drunk booty call texts from a hipster party promoter in a city which shall remain nameless. Said party promoter was interviewed by my friend for an article a few months ago, and must have the hots for a girl by the same name, as he gets drunk and confusedly sends sexy texts to my friend, who has repeatedly requested that the dude remove her contact info from his phone, as to avoid any future mishaps. Apparently, he has neglected to do so. So, for fun, we decided to investigate his FaceBook friends, to get a look at the chick he's so desperate to bang or whatever. We located said hipster gal and easily accessed her personal photos, because hipsters are generally not tech savvy and seem not to understand the new FB privacy settings. (People: just because your page is private, DOES NOT MEAN your photos are. You are all idiots!!!) Anyway, culling through hundreds of her personal, embarrassing, incriminating photos we noticed that there are several mandatory hipster poses. They include (but are not limited to)

The obligitory "fashion shoot" photo
The dance-floor action photo
The vampy self-portrait (with camera phone holding arm included)
The backstage, or on-stage Coachella photo
The late night/early morning breakfast group photo
Photo with fake, or tattooed finger mustache

What we failed to notice (and I went back to this chick's FB page and found) were photos in which the pose would suggest the subject urgently needs to pee. ie: knees together, doubled-over or legs crossed tightly.

I don't know how I missed that, but this person didn't because there's an entire blog dedicated to this pose.

http://hipstershavetopee.tumblr.com/

PS: Please log onto FB and change your privacy settings, or I'm going to keep looking at your photos and laughing at you.