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After last year's Saturday Coachella clusterfuck, I'm going to make a bold move and forgo the second day altogether. Yeah, that's right. I'm going to skip Major Lazer, the XX and Devo. I'm going to "opt out" as they say.

I can see all two of you out there, shaking your heads, but Saturday is a day for PARTIES. Last year, we spent a good part of the day hitting the various Viceroy, Anthem Magazine, (cough) Hennessey and God knows whatever pool parties. Then we rushed back to the polo grounds, and spent the rest of the day/night wishing we were back at the Viceroy, which among other features had offered Kenan Bell, a photo booth, free beach towels (to keep!) free tequila and the BEST FUCKING HOTDOGS AND CHICKEN FINGERS I HAVE EVER EATEN. God, I wish we'd never left that party.

Listen people: you need to conserve your energy for Sunday's lineup, which is so good, it's actually retarded: Thom Yorke, Spoon, Sly and the Family Stone, Gary Numan and Phoenix and more. Ouch. My brain just exploded.

PS: Okay, who's got the hookup on Viceroy this year? Help a sista out!