“Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!”
-Lupe Fiasco, 944 April Music Issue Cover
I am one of those people who have trouble remembering things — maybe it’s the drugs from my college years (thank you Arizona State University) or the liquor from the present — but music helps recall every detail of a situation. One minute you are smiling and happy and then “Fair” by Remy Zero comes on and brings you back to the one that crushed you and suddenly a dark cloud of memories alters your mood instantly. And in other cases you are in a rut and just down on life and a great song like “Let Go” by Frou Frou comes on and gives you the spark to get up and shake it off. Music is more than just lyrics and notes, it can control your emotions, your thoughts and your actions.
Billboard may have its top 100 and iTunes has its top charts, but I have taken a little more … shall we say creative approach. Below is my list of songs along with a description of a girl who would most likely be listening to it, a frame of mind or when to play the song.
“A Beautiful Mess”
Jason Mraz
You love her, she loves you. It’s a magical experience every time your eyes meet, but you found each other at the wrong point in your lives. Or maybe in a prior life you shared something amazing and you now have a natural magnetic energy in the present. Either way, every time you make love the world stops and everything makes sense. Then when the song ends you go on your separate ways and look forward to the next encounter, still not understanding how to fix this beautiful mess.
“Caramel”
Suzanne Vega
You can find her at the Fasano Hotel in Rio, hanging out in the Baretto-Londra lounge. She seems nice, although you each don’t understand each other's native tongue, but still find a way to connect through music and flirt through your eyes. You won't see her again, but will always remember that point in your life.
“The Boulevard of Broken Dreams”
Diana Krall
Three different failed engagements and two unsuccessful marriages leads this 40-something-year-old cougar to re-enter the dating scene with distorted expectations. Us men have one advantage over women, as we get older our choices become bigger, but as you women get older your choices become smaller. It's sad, I know, so maybe when you have someone that’s 80 percent perfect, bite your lip and do whatever it takes because as you get older you will find yourself forced to settle for 50 percent perfect and that might be with two kids from his previous marriage and those kids will hate you because you will be bitter on life. But what a great song to drink wine and cook to.
“Love is a Losing Game”
Amy Winehouse
She's dressed in all black, wearing long sleeves and big boots in the middle of summer. No, those wounds that look like she's been getting beaten is not from someone else but herself — she's a cutter. Somehow she has given up on life yet gives me dirty looks when I walk by as I should be ashamed my nails are freshly manicured. When does that gothic/cutter thing eventually click with them to change? I've never seen an 80-year-old dressed as a goth, so I'm left with only two conclusions: they kill themselves at some point or they go off with a vampire.
“Sweet Child O’ Mine”
Guns N’ Roses
A little Hank Moody of Californication in all of us. Maybe you’re at the Whiskey Bar at Sunset Marquis Hotel or Rose Bar at Gramercy Park Hotel, she says she's 18 and that’s good enough for you, but deep down you know there is a chance she is 16. You consider yourself accomplished and a smart individual ,yet the fact she goes with 18 and not 21 doesn’t alert any red flags despite being in a bar.
“Angel”
Massive Attack
I preface this by saying if you truly don’t know how to fuck, I wouldn’t play this song. And by fuck I mean just that, not make love, not have sex but a straight up evening you will not forget and will linger for some time as you continually ask yourself, “Did that really happen?” There might be some ropes, blindfolds, cuffs, chains and an occasional slap. (OK, fine, maybe a hit.) You don’t need to seek her out, she will find you by your reputation — or you can roll the dice and head to the Viper Room in LA and seek out the girl with daddy issues.
“I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You”
Colin Hay
She loves coffee, but won't step foot in Starbucks. Brilliant in every way, but hasn’t been able to get over an issue with the one she loved. The principal of the matter seems to overpower the risk of losing the one you are destined to be with. Bite your lip and don’t worry about the principal — when you are sitting in a hammock together 30 years later you will be glad you didn’t stand your ground over principal. Reference “The Boulevard of Broken Dreams” girl as the alternative.
“I Love, You Love”
John Legend
By day she's holding power lunches for top agencies as a force to be reckoned with, and at nights she's the host of dinner parties at swanky restaurants. On her off time she is with you. Smart, successful and sophisticated. While she doesn’t need you, she respects and
“Nasty Girl”
Notorious B.I.G., P. Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge & Avery Storm
There are “around the way girls” and then there is the nasty girl — you can find her doing laps at the ghetto malls where Sears was the main tenant previously, but recently left due to the incident when there was a shooting between two cousins and their baby's momma. You can spot her with the 7-inch long nails, the big bubbles of gum she's poppin' and the tube top that’s three sizes too small. Don’t bother talking to her as the only thing she knows how to say is “Heyyyyyy daddy.” Meanwhile ‘daddy’ hasn’t seen her since … well, he just hasn’t ever seen her.
“Numb”
Portishead
She's not happy, she's not sad, she's just numb. Hang by the local CVS and wait for the girl to pick up her monthly supply of Zoloft or Xanax that she ingests for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Find a way to bump into her with a pamphlet you inconspicuously have in your hand about Lunesta and if it's right for you. Act mellow and invite her to grab a drink in a dark and depressing bar even though its bright and sunny outside. Give her the upper hand and make yourself seem worse off than she is. The sorrow she feels for you will lead to heavy cuddling. Play a song at a lower bpm, like 80, instead of the song's natural 156 and keep on repeat.
“If I Were A Boy”
Beyonce
This gets complicated, but try and follow me: The girl who thinks she is a lesbian, not bi but not sure, and still young so you manipulate her to think you also are confused and get her to hook up with you. That makes it OK with her because it seems like it's still a gay experience because you have never hooked up with a boy, but she can fill in. Be careful on this one, it can backfire on both people.
“Against All Odds”
Postal Service
You loved her, cheated on her, crushed her, she still wants you and now you can't respect her. You both know it’s the final encounter, but she wants one last moment. You shouldn’t do it as you know she will regret it half-way through and she will be left crying in the bed, but like a blackjack dealer in Vegas you still give them what they ask for even when you know they should just walk away.
“Raise Your Weapon”
Deadmau5
It's Vegas, 115 degrees in summer and you are off with your buddies to hang outside by a pool. Enter Marquee Day Club, where the women this summer will make the Sultan of Brunei jealous with the quality of talent. You can find this girl holding a glass of champagne but not drinking it, she's smiling and loving life. Here you think she is winking at you, but she just wants you to introduce her to your friend Molly.
What did we learn?
Women want their “perfect” even if it's not realistic. Men can have their “perfect” yet it doesn’t seem real.
Read more of Marc's list at
944.com
MARC LOTENBERG
Womanizer/Princess in Training/Cupcake Connoisseur
teammarc@944.com
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Written by: Marc Lotenberg